


Even If It Took Forever and More

by burymeinziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 12:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burymeinziam/pseuds/burymeinziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam spend a month tucked away together in a small cabin in the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even If It Took Forever and More

They spend a month out of the summer tucked away in a cabin near a lake where they get lost in each other’s skin. It’s only for a month and they know it’s only temporary because sometimes life just gets in the way and there isn’t really anything you can do about it, but Liam loves the sharp angles of Zayn’s jaw and the way his eyes look in the early hours of the morning when the sun is just barely peeking through the thin fabric of the curtains and he figures a month is better than nothing at all.

He rents the cabin without thinking because Danielle is going to Paris and Perrie is busy working on a new album and Zayn would probably spend most of his time holed away in his apartment if he was given the chance to do so. He does it without thinking because it’s self-indulgent and Liam just wants and there isn’t really much else to it.

And when he asks him one night over the phone Zayn exhales and Liam just knows there is a ring of smoke ghosting over his lips and he says “yeah; okay.”

The cabin is small and cozy and nestled away between trees and bushes and tall grass that Zayn thinks would make his skin itch if he hung around in it for too long, but there’s also a lake and a small boat that Liam thinks they should take out one day. Liam can tell that Zayn is feeling wary because he doesn’t usually do this sort of thing, (this being out in the middle of nowhere with not much more than the moon and the stars to guide him home) but he also knows that this is them and only them and they’re in this together.

“What do you think?” Liam asks once they pull up in front of the cabin.

Zayn shrugs his shoulders and glances toward Liam from where he’s sitting the passenger’s seat of the car. “It’s nice, I guess. Not really here for the cabin though, if you’re wondering.”

Liam raises his brows. “Then what are you here for?”

Zayn unbuckles his seat belt and looks at Liam as though he should already know. “You.”

It’s beautiful really.

They turn off their cell phones, except for the moments when they check messages from home to make sure everything is alright, and they spend their time out on the deck drinking coffee and talking about everything they never really get the chance to say back home.

They talk about what they might have done if the band hadn’t gotten so big; if they’d never auditioned for the X –factor; if they’d never met.

“I don’t like thinking about that,” Liam says quietly. “Not knowing you.”

Zayn lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and exhales opposite Liam because he knows how much he hates the smell.

“I think we would have met eventually,” he says a few moments later, his voice quiet and thoughtful in that way that makes Liam want to hang off of every word. “I think some things are meant to be. Not everything, but some things, and I think you and I are one of those things that were meant to happen.”

And when Zayn looks back at Liam his smile is soft and his eyes are warm and Liam knows he’s right.

They spend afternoons on the lake in the little boat Liam thinks would be good for fishing if they’d thought to buy poles.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think to bring fishing poles.”

Zayn’s laugh is fond and loving when he reaches forward, combing his fingers through Liam’s hair because it really isn’t that big of a deal; he’d be happy lounging in that stupid little boat forever if it meant forever with Liam.

“I don’t even think there’s fish in this lake, Li,” he says.

Liam pouts, leans over to rest his head on Zayn’s shoulder. “There’s fish somewhere.” And he knows, at this point, he’s only being childish but conversation with Zayn is easy and simple and when he thinks about it floating along the river thinking about all the fishing he could have done but probably won’t get to is just as nice.

“Next time,” Zayn says, wrapping an arm around Liam’s waist as he slides on his sunglasses.

Liam grins.

There’s a small fire pit behind the cabin and one night Zayn is feeling a little adventurous and decides that roasting marshmallows over an open fire isn’t such a bad idea. It’s one of the few things he enjoys about “the great outdoors” as Liam has taken to calling it during their month long vacation and he also thinks spending the night curled up with Liam under the stars is kind of romantic.

It’s not until the fire is about to die out and it’s close to being pitch black and Zayn can only really see Liam if he squints his eyes and pieces together the parts of his face he can remember most that he says it; speaks the words they’ve both been feeling since the moment they met even though they didn’t really understand it in the beginning.

“I love you, you know,” Zayn says quietly. “Through everything.”

Liam nods even though Zayn can’t really see it and tightens his grip on the blanket he has wrapped around his shoulders. “Yeah,” he says. “I love you, too.”

There’s a short pause where the only thing they can really hear are the crickets chirping in the distance and the soft noises of the other person breathing.

“I just wish it could be like this forever,” Liam continues. “Just… simple; you and me, you know?”

“Me too,” Zayn says scooting closer to Liam and resting their foreheads together just because he has a sudden urge to feel close and to breathe Liam in while he can because he may not really have the chance to once this is all over.

“But some things aren’t so simple.”

Zayn can feel the disappointment in Liam’s sigh and he hates it because things should be this easy. Things should be as simple as loving Liam. But things get complicated when you add in a music career and girlfriends. Things get complicated when you love one person, but feel tethered to another in a way that can’t really be explained in words.

It’s like when Zayn kisses Liam under the stars and the blanket falls from Liam’s shoulders it’s like everything in the world makes sense. Things become a little clearer and Zayn feels like he can breathe easier as long as Liam is there to remind him how.

It’s like when Liam’s hands slide beneath the fabric of his sweater and his hands feel both warm and cold against the skin of his back. It’s that give and take of their lips working together and how Zayn knows just how hard to tug on Liam’s bottom lip to illicit the small groan that gets caught in the back of his throat.

It’s how Liam knows that while Zayn usually prefers a bed and the soft, pillow-like surface of a mattress tonight he’s content with thick blankets and trees and the soft outline of Liam’s body hovering over his beneath the stars.

There aren’t really words for clothes left discarded a few feet away from a dying fire or forgotten marshmallows that probably won’t be remembered until morning. And when Liam feels worried because spit really shouldn’t be enough, but Zayn is saying it will be fine because he doesn’t want to go inside, they’re too close and he doesn’t want to wait , well, there aren’t really words for that either.

It’s just Zayn feeling full and surrounded and whole even though it hurts like hell and the drag of Liam’s cock isn’t as smooth as it usually is and it’s not quite easy, but it’s perfect all the same.

It’s a kiss to Zayn’s shoulder saying “I love you most”

Its Zayn holding Liam close, kissing him soft and slow and simple saying “I know; me too.”

After a while the days seem to blur together.

They spend afternoons lying the grass, Liam’s head pillowed against Zayn’s stomach while Zayn reads aloud from whichever book he felt like opening that day.

They cook dinner together; most of it ends up burnt and nearly inedible, but the time spent goofing around in the kitchen laughing and stealing kisses every few minutes is worth the less than tolerable food.

Some of the best nights are spent cuddled together on the couch watching movies on Liam’s laptop. Sometimes Zayn will quote the lines he remembers from his favorites and Liam will laugh and shove him in the side before telling him that he’s talking too much even though they both know he secretly loves Zayn’s impressions.

They make love into the early hours of the morning before falling asleep tangled up in each other,  the sheets pooling around their waists and wrapped around their ankles.

“I want to stay this way forever,” Zayn says one evening, his face contorted into something between a smile and a frown. He feels sated and content with Liam’s naked body wrapped around his own, but the impending end of their vacation makes his chest feel tight and uncomfortable.

Liam doesn’t answer and Zayn really doesn’t expect him to because there’s nothing to say. It’s something that just is; something they want, but can’t have. Not yet. He just kisses Zayn until their lips feel numb and their minds grow hazy and they pretend that it isn’t almost over.

But then it is and when they’re sitting in the car, Liam in the driver’s seat and Zayn in the passenger’s wearing his sunglasses, one hand dangling out the open window with an unlit cigarette dangling between two fingers, they both feel a bout of sadness and nostalgia for something that once was and could still be under different circumstances.

“Thank you,” Zayn says quietly, his eyes never leaving the tiny cabin and that’s all that really needs to be said as Liam nods his head and starts the car before backing out into the dirt road that leads out to the highway.

The drive back is quiet, but the air is heavy and filled with words left unspoken; memories they’ll keep tucked away in the deepest parts of themselves only to be brought out when it’s just Zayn and Liam and maybe the soft light of the moon peeking through an open window.

It’s over, but not really because even though they’re leaving that tiny cabin tucked away in the middle of nowhere they still have the memories of that one month of the summer when Zayn was Liam’s and Liam was Zayn’s and life was really that simple.

Memories of tiny boats floating along still water, burnt dinners and quiet conversations held in grass that made Zayn’s skin itch.

Memories of making love under the stars and silent promises of “mosts” and “always”

And when Liam’s hand finds Zayn’s over the center console of the car it’s a promise. It’s a promise that they’ll come back and they’ll find that simplicity and that easiness that only seems to come when it’s them and them alone.

It’s an unspoken “we’ll get there” even if it takes forever and more.  


End file.
